Wellbeing Blog - Robin Evan Willis, Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC)

Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Why Some People Struggle to Regulate and How to Heal

Scott grew up in a home where love was unpredictable, leading his nervous system to constantly perceive threats, even in harmless situations. Polyvagal Theory explains how our nervous system reacts to cues of safety or danger, and why some people, like Scott, get stuck in survival mode, feeling perpetually anxious or disconnected. Factors like chronic stress, early experiences, and a lack of supportive relationships can condition the nervous system to remain on high alert. By understanding these patterns and applying practical strategies such as building safe connections, mindful breathing, and self-compassion, it's possible to move toward a state of safety and emotional regulation.

Therapeutic Approaches

Turning Anxiety Into Strength: A Guide to Managing Worry with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Imagine this: You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling as your heart races and your thoughts spin out of control. The anxiety that seemed manageable just hours ago now feels like a tidal wave, threatening to pull you under. We’ve all been there—feeling overwhelmed, exposed, and utterly vulnerable. But what if, in these moments, there’s an opportunity for something more? What if this very vulnerability could be the key to unlocking our deepest courage?

Art & Creativity

Unlocking Creativity: Why The Artist’s Way is Essential for Everyone

When was the last time you felt truly creative? Perhaps it was during a childhood art class, or while cooking a new recipe, where every movement felt inspired and alive. For many of us, creativity is tinged with nostalgia—a longing for a time when we were more connected to our imaginative selves. But what if creativity isn’t something confined to the past or reserved for a chosen few? What if it’s a birthright we all possess, waiting to be rediscovered? Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way invites us to reclaim our creativity—not just as a hobby or talent, but as an essential part of who we are.

Building Resilience

Understanding and Overcoming Shame: A Journey to Resilience

Shame is a quiet yet pervasive emotion that touches all of us at some point in our lives. It often lurks in the background, subtly influencing our decisions and behaviors. For some, it can become a paralyzing force, holding them back from living fully. But what if the very act of discussing shame could free us from its grip? Let’s explore how understanding and resilience can lead us to a more connected and authentic life.

Book Reviews

The Serendipity Mindset: Redefining How We Think About Luck and Opportunity

While manifestation promotes the power of positive thinking to shape reality, it can lead to unrealistic expectations and disappointment. In contrast, serendipity involves being open to unexpected opportunities and actively engaging with the world. By balancing intention with flexibility, we can find deeper, more authentic success and joy in life's unpredictable journey.

Self-Care & Wellness

Put a Stop to Procrastination … Right Now!

Join me as I dive into the complexities of procrastination, exploring its psychological roots, such as fear of failure, perfectionism, and decision-making anxiety. I share strategies to help you overcome procrastination while explaining the importance of understanding the underlying causes of procrastination and providing actionable steps to break the cycle and take control of your time.

Building Resilience

How Healing Your Nervous System Can Transform Your Life

In this blog, we explore how nervous system dysregulation can deeply impact our lives, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, and exhaustion. We introduce a powerful 5-Stage Plan for healing, focusing on awareness, regulation, and restoration, to help you regain balance and build resilience. By understanding and addressing the root causes of nervous system imbalance, you can embark on a transformative journey toward greater peace, connection, and well-being.

Book Reviews

Navigating Emotions with Atlas of the Heart

This blog explores key insights from Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart, delving into the power of naming emotions, the importance of emotional granularity, and the differences between challenging feelings like anguish and despair, as well as positive emotions like happiness and joy. By embracing the paradoxes inherent in our emotions, we can better understand ourselves and foster deeper connections with others.

Anxiety

The Anxious Generation: How Smartphones Triggered an Anxiety Epidemic

This blog explores the profound impact smartphones and social media have had on Generation Z's mental health, drawing insights from Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation. With skyrocketing rates of anxiety, depression, and self-harm among teens, the blog delves into how constant connectivity has disrupted essential developmental experiences like free play, attunement, and social learning.

Self-Acceptance & Identity

Embracing Vulnerability for a More Authentic Life

This blog explores the transformative power of vulnerability, inspired by Dr. Brené Brown’s research. Through Ash's journey, it defines vulnerability as “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure,” debunking myths that view it as a weakness. Highlighting ten guideposts from Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, it offers practical steps like acknowledging emotions, building shame resilience, setting boundaries, and engaging in joy. The blog emphasizes how embracing vulnerability fosters deeper connections and personal growth.

Life Transitions

Navigating Your Quarterlife Crisis with Purpose

Feeling lost, overwhelmed, or stuck in your twenties or thirties? You’re not alone. This blog explores the common signs and symptoms of a quarterlife crisis and the life stressors that contribute to it. Learn practical steps to navigate this challenging period, including expressing gratitude, avoiding comparisons, listening to your inner voice, experimenting with short-term career experiences, and seeking professional help. Embrace your journey, face your fears, and create a life that aligns with your deepest values and aspirations.

Therapeutic Approaches

Embracing Online Therapy: A Journey of Connection and Healing

Explore the benefits of teletherapy, from increased accessibility and flexibility to building meaningful therapeutic connections in a virtual setting. Supported by research and personal experiences, this post highlights the effectiveness of online therapy for residents of Vancouver, Victoria, the Saanich Peninsula, and Sidney. Learn about overcoming stigma, the pros and cons of virtual counseling, and why online therapy is a lasting solution for mental well-being.

Anxiety

Warm Weather, Cool Confidence: Overcoming Social Anxiety for a Joyful Summer

As summer blooms on the Saanich Peninsula, the season brings with it lively markets, waterfront concerts, and sun-drenched picnics. Yet, for those grappling with social anxiety, these delightful activities can feel overwhelming. This blog explores practical strategies to help you navigate social gatherings with confidence, from calming breathing techniques to the therapeutic power of nature. Discover how to transform anxiety into an ally and step beyond your comfort zone to fully enjoy the vibrant community and sunshine. Embrace summer with a heart full of courage and connection.

Art & Creativity

Understanding our Inner World through 'Inside Out 2'

Explore the intricacies of Pixar's Inside Out 2, where Riley's teenage brain navigates new emotions—Envy, Embarrassment, Ennui, and Anxiety. This blog delves into the complexities of growing up, with insights from leading psychologists and the therapeutic principles of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Discover how neuroscience and psychology make this film resonate with viewers of all ages. Perfect for parents, teens, and anyone interested in understanding the role of emotions in shaping our lives.

Self-Acceptance & Identity

Embracing True Belonging: How Allies Can Support the LGBTQ+ Community During Pride Month and Beyond

As we celebrate Pride Month, it's essential to understand the importance of allyship in supporting the LGBTQ+ community. This blog explores the role of allies, emphasizing validation, amplification of voices, and creating safe spaces. It offers practical ways to support LGBTQ+ friends, including educating ourselves, using inclusive language, and advocating for change. Highlighting the psychological impact of being a supportive ally, it underscores the benefits of reduced anxiety, increased self-esteem, and enhanced belonging. Join me in committing to consistent, empathetic support for a more inclusive and equitable society.

Boundaries & Assertiveness

The High Cost of People-Pleasing: Reclaim your Power and Find your Assertive Voice

Lindsay seemed to have it all—a successful career, a bustling social life, and a reputation for always being there for others. Yet beneath her constant smiles, she silently struggled with resentment and exhaustion. This blog delves into Lindsay's journey of overcoming people-pleasing behaviors, exploring the deep-rooted causes such as childhood experiences, family dynamics, and cultural influences. It highlights the impact of these behaviors on one's mental health and relationships, and offers practical strategies for reclaiming your authentic self.

Art & Creativity

Conquering Stage Fright: A Psychotherapist’s Guide for Performers

This blog explores the challenges and solutions for managing stage fright. It delves into the physiological and psychological aspects of performance anxiety, and offers practical strategies like preparation, mindfulness, and cognitive-behavioral techniques.

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

Breaking Free from Self-Doubt: How to Conquer the 'Never Good Enough' Mindset

This blog addresses the pervasive issue of feeling "never good enough" and its roots in societal standards, social media, and psychological factors. It offers practical therapeutic strategies to combat these feelings, including cognitive-behavioral techniques, inner child work, and mindfulness practices. Emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and aligning with personal values, the blog provides actionable exercises to help readers overcome self-doubt and embrace their intrinsic worth. The post concludes with a call to action, encouraging readers to seek professional support and take steps towards self-acceptance and fulfillment.

Art & Creativity

The Tortured Poets Department: Exploring Emotional Catharsis and Musical Healing through Taylor Swift's New Album

What is it about Taylor Swift's music, or any music, that can tug so profoundly at our heartstrings and often even tear at them? Drawing on the latest neuroscience research and my professional experiences, this blog explores the powerful role of music in emotional processing and healing. It offers insights into how these melodies do much more than entertain - they help us heal, remember, and deeply understand.

Anxiety

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Mastering Small Talk: An Introverts Guide

Navigating the world of social interactions can be a complex and often daunting experience for many. This guide is designed to be a resource for anyone who finds themselves feeling uneasy in the realm of social dynamics. It’s a journey of understanding and growth, offering practical tools and empathetic insights for those who are seeking to enhance their ability to connect with others.

Parenting & Family Dynamics

The Lifelong Impact of Parentification: Understanding, Healing, and Moving Forward

This article delves into the intricate dynamics of parentification, illuminating its detrimental effects, while also emphasizing resilience and pathways towards healing. By unraveling the threads linking parentification and attachment, I aim to foster comprehension, dialogue, and support for those who may have been touched by this phenomena. Together, let's embark on this journey of understanding and overcoming the reverberations of parentification.

Anxiety

Climate Anxiety: How to Cope with a World in Crisis

Climate disasters, once distant news articles, now feel close to home, intensifying our collective questions about the future and our place within it. In this blog, we journey into that space, that nexus where our changing environment meets our internal worlds. We'll seek to understand the mounting phenomenon of climate anxiety, how it's impacting our mental well-being, and the ways we can navigate through this distressing era. Together, let's face the bigger questions of existence, purpose, and our role in a world that feels increasingly fragile.

Boundaries & Assertiveness

Find Your Voice: How to Embrace Assertiveness and Shed People-Pleasing Patterns

Dive into the art of assertiveness, vital for emotional well-being, relationships, and professional success, especially for women. Uncover the transformative power of genuine communication amidst societal pressures. This guide sheds light on the journey from people-pleasing to empowered self-expression, offering practical techniques for daily life. It’s an invitation to move from suppressed voices to resonant clarity. Embrace the strength of your voice; it's time to be heard.

Self-Care & Wellness

Hashtag Happiness: Setting Healthy Social Media Boundaries:

This post delves into the profound impact of social media on our mental well-being. While platforms like Instagram and Twitter promise connection, they often fuel comparison, diminish self-worth, and lead to feelings of isolation. The article offers practical strategies for digital wellness, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries, practicing mindful consumption, and engaging in real-world activities. The goal? A balanced, fulfilling digital and offline life.

Parenting & Family Dynamics

Navigating the Sea of Emotions: The Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents on Coping Mechanisms

Personal development and self-understanding often require an investigation into one's past, particularly the coping mechanisms developed over time and their origins. This introspection can reveal significant influences that may have previously gone unnoticed, such as the role of emotionally immature parents.

Anxiety

Managing Death Anxiety: Your Comprehensive Guide to Empowerment and Understanding

Every single one of us, simply by being human, shares one unavoidable truth – we won't be here forever. This sobering reality can stir up feelings of fear and worry, leaving us grappling with big questions about life's purpose and sparking what is known as 'existential dread.'

Therapeutic Approaches

Harness the Power of Non-Violent Communication: A Key to Healthier Relationships

I've often pondered this quote in my role as a psychotherapist, observing the incredible power of language and communication as I accompany my clients on their journeys through the maze of human relationships.

Book Reviews

'What Happened to You?' by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry: Key Takeaways and Insights

In the realm of books that illuminate our understanding of the human psyche, "What Happened to You? Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing" by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce D. Perry stands tall.

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

Boosting Self-Esteem: A Step by Step Guide to Cultivating Self-Worth

We've all been there - moments when we lack confidence and don't feel great about ourselves. However, when low self-esteem becomes a long-lasting challenge, it can profoundly impact our mental well-being and daily life.

Body Image

Embracing Your True Self: A Comprehensive Guide to Improving Body Image

Imagine living a life where you feel confident and comfortable in your own skin, unapologetically celebrating your body's unique beauty. In today's world, where we are constantly bombarded with unrealistic and unattainable beauty standards, it's more important than ever to cultivate a positive body image.

Therapeutic Approaches

Overcoming Negative Core Beliefs: Transform Your Mindset and Boost Your Self-Esteem

Do you struggle with low self-esteem, feelings of shame, or a negative outlook on life? You may be experiencing the impact of negative core beliefs on your mental well-being.

Self-Acceptance & Identity

The Hidden Impact of Shame: Discovering Pathways to Healing and Acceptance

Shame is a deeply rooted, complex emotion that can significantly affect our self-worth, relationships, and overall mental well-being. If you are considering therapy to address shame, it's essential to understand its evolutionary origins, recognize its impact on your life, and explore the potential therapeutic approaches that can help you overcome this challenging emotion.

Self-Acceptance & Identity

Who Am I? How to Cultivate a Strong Sense of Self

Have you ever wondered what it truly means to know yourself and feel confident in your identity? Developing a strong sense of self is a crucial aspect of personal growth, mental and emotional well-being, and nurturing healthy relationships with others.

Book Reviews

Overcoming Perfectionism with ACT: A Book Review of the Anxious Perfectionist by Dr. Clarissa Ong

The Anxious Perfectionist: How to Manage Perfectionism-Driven Anxiety Using Acceptance & Commitment Therapy is an insightful book that delves into the relationship between perfectionism and anxiety, offering practical solutions for those grappling with these interconnected issues.

Therapeutic Approaches

Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Exploring Narrative Therapy for Anxiety and Perfectionism

Have you ever stopped to think about the power of the stories we tell ourselves and how they can shape our emotional well-being? Narrative therapy offers a fascinating and transformative approach to psychotherapeutic healing, focusing on the impact of these personal narratives on our lives.

Book Reviews

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself: A Book Review of Dr. Neff's Best Seller

In "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself," Dr. Kristin Neff, an Associate Professor of Educational Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, presents a compelling case for the cultivation of self-compassion as a cornerstone of emotional well-being and personal growth.

Boundaries & Assertiveness

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: An Overview of Nedra Glover Tawwab's Best Selling Book

Nedra Glover Tawwab's "Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself" is a timely and relevant exploration of the importance of setting healthy boundaries in our lives.

Book Reviews

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity: A Summary of Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection

In her groundbreaking book, "The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are," Dr. Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, explores the power of embracing vulnerability and authenticity in the pursuit of wholehearted living.

Perfectionism

The Perfectionism Trap: How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations and Embrace Imperfection

Are you frequently burdened by stress, anxiety, or an overpowering need for perfection? You are not alone in this struggle. Perfectionism, a pervasive trait nurtured by societal influences, can significantly affect our sense of self-worth and inner tranquility.

Self-Acceptance & Identity

Radical Acceptance: A Path to Inner Peace

Radical acceptance is a powerful concept that can transform the way we approach our lives. It is a tool that helps us cope with difficult emotions, reduce our suffering, and find inner peace.

Boundaries & Assertiveness

The Art of Saying No: How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Do you often find yourself saying "yes" to things you don't want to do or feel guilty for setting boundaries? Do you prioritize other people's needs over your own, even when it's detrimental to your well-being? If so, you might be a people pleaser.

Anxiety

Breathing Easy: A Guide to Managing Anxiety with Breathing Techniques

Anxiety affects millions of people worldwide, causing feelings of nervousness, restlessness and a sense of impending doom. When anxiety strikes, the sympathetic nervous system is activated, leading to an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration rate.

Self-Care & Wellness

Food for Thought: How What You Eat Impacts your Mood and Mental Health

When we're feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stressed, we often turn to comfort food, such as sugary or fatty treats, to make us feel better. However, as a registered holistic nutritionist and psychotherapist, I've come to understand that our diet has a direct impact on our mental and emotional wellbeing.

Therapeutic Approaches

AEDP and the Science of Emotional Transformation: How It Works and Why It Works So Well

Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) has been gaining popularity in recent years, and for good reason. At its core, AEDP is a psychotherapeutic approach that emphasizes the importance of emotional connection and the healing power of relationships.

Art & Creativity

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Four tips to cultivate confidence in the face of self-doubt

Do you fear you'll be discovered as an imposter at any moment? You're not alone. An estimated 70% of the population struggle with owning their accomplishments and feeling like they belong.

Building Resilience

The Loneliness Pandemic? How to Endure Social Isolation as Covid Drags On

It’s been more than a year since the first COVID-19 case was reported in Canada. The days have plodded on, each one blending together in a smear of nebulous similtude.

Anxiety

Worried about the Covid Variant? Follow These 3 Coping Tips for Health Anxiety

When it comes to anxiety, there are several reasons why we may experience it. For many people, health anxiety is an everyday nuisance. If you consistently feel anxious or worried about your health, then you know just how crippling the feeling can be.

Anxiety

How to Cope With Uncertainty in the Second Wave of COVID-19

When COVID-19 first started spreading earlier this year, many of us felt uncertainty and fear. Now, as the year draws to a close, many of us are still left with a sense of anticipation.

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

5 Practical Tips on Shifting Self-Criticism to Self-Kindness

It’s often true that the harshest criticism comes from ourselves of all the criticism we receive in our lives. No one is immune to self-criticism, and it happens to even the most confident people.

Self-Care & Wellness

Sleepless in Vancouver: 7 Tips to Help You Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep Longer

When I was an actress travelling the USA on a national tour, I seriously struggled with insomnia, sometimes enduring night after night of wakefulness. I was so desperate for sleep I tried everything from meditation to medication, hot toddies to hot baths - nothing worked.

Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Reclaim Your Confidence

Imagine this: You’ve just landed a big promotion or received recognition for your work, but instead of celebrating, you feel a gnawing sense of doubt. Thoughts like, “What if they realize I’m not good enough?” or “I don’t deserve this” swirl in your mind. Despite your accomplishments, you feel like a fraud, constantly waiting for someone to uncover the “truth.” If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. These feelings are the hallmark of imposter syndrome, a common experience that can impact anyone, regardless of their success or abilities.

Anxiety

Social Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Fear of Being Judged

Do you ever feel an overwhelming sense of fear in social situations? Does the thought of meeting new people, attending a gathering, or even speaking up in a group leave you paralyzed with worry? You’re not alone. Social anxiety affects millions of people, making even the simplest interactions feel like monumental challenges. The good news? Social anxiety is treatable, and with the right tools and support, you can overcome it to build a more confident, connected life.

Self-Care & Wellness

How to Recognize Burnout and Reignite Your Spark

Samantha had always been the go-to person in her workplace. Her dedication and ability to handle stress impressed her colleagues and superiors. But lately, things felt different. Tasks that once brought her a sense of accomplishment now felt like a mountain she couldn't climb. Exhaustion clouded her thoughts, and even her weekends were filled with a sense of dread for the week ahead. Samantha didn't realize it at first, but she was experiencing burnout—a state that has become all too common in our fast-paced world.

Reading & Resources

Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Why Some People Struggle to Regulate and How to Heal

Understanding Polyvagal Theory: Why Some People Struggle to Regulate and How to Heal

Turning Anxiety Into Strength: A Guide to Managing Worry with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Unlocking Creativity: Why The Artist’s Way is Essential for Everyone

Understanding and Overcoming Shame: A Journey to Resilience

The Serendipity Mindset: Redefining How We Think About Luck and Opportunity

Put a Stop to Procrastination … Right Now!

How Healing Your Nervous System Can Transform Your Life

Navigating Emotions with Atlas of the Heart

The Anxious Generation: How Smartphones Triggered an Anxiety Epidemic

Embracing Vulnerability for a More Authentic Life

Navigating Your Quarterlife Crisis with Purpose

Embracing Online Therapy: A Journey of Connection and Healing

Warm Weather, Cool Confidence: Overcoming Social Anxiety for a Joyful Summer

Understanding our Inner World through 'Inside Out 2'

Embracing True Belonging: How Allies Can Support the LGBTQ+ Community During Pride Month and Beyond

The High Cost of People-Pleasing: Reclaim your Power and Find your Assertive Voice

Conquering Stage Fright: A Psychotherapist’s Guide for Performers

Breaking Free from Self-Doubt: How to Conquer the 'Never Good Enough' Mindset

The Tortured Poets Department: Exploring Emotional Catharsis and Musical Healing through Taylor Swift's New Album

Overcoming Social Anxiety and Mastering Small Talk: An Introverts Guide

The Lifelong Impact of Parentification: Understanding, Healing, and Moving Forward

Climate Anxiety: How to Cope with a World in Crisis

Find Your Voice: How to Embrace Assertiveness and Shed People-Pleasing Patterns

Hashtag Happiness: Setting Healthy Social Media Boundaries:

Navigating the Sea of Emotions: The Impact of Emotionally Immature Parents on Coping Mechanisms

Managing Death Anxiety: Your Comprehensive Guide to Empowerment and Understanding

Harness the Power of Non-Violent Communication: A Key to Healthier Relationships

'What Happened to You?' by Oprah Winfrey and Dr. Bruce Perry: Key Takeaways and Insights

Boosting Self-Esteem: A Step by Step Guide to Cultivating Self-Worth

Embracing Your True Self: A Comprehensive Guide to Improving Body Image

Overcoming Negative Core Beliefs: Transform Your Mindset and Boost Your Self-Esteem

The Hidden Impact of Shame: Discovering Pathways to Healing and Acceptance

Who Am I? How to Cultivate a Strong Sense of Self

Overcoming Perfectionism with ACT: A Book Review of the Anxious Perfectionist by Dr. Clarissa Ong

Change Your Story, Change Your Life: Exploring Narrative Therapy for Anxiety and Perfectionism

Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself: A Book Review of Dr. Neff's Best Seller

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: An Overview of Nedra Glover Tawwab's Best Selling Book

Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity: A Summary of Brené Brown's The Gifts of Imperfection

The Perfectionism Trap: How to Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations and Embrace Imperfection

Radical Acceptance: A Path to Inner Peace

The Art of Saying No: How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

Breathing Easy: A Guide to Managing Anxiety with Breathing Techniques

Food for Thought: How What You Eat Impacts your Mood and Mental Health

AEDP and the Science of Emotional Transformation: How It Works and Why It Works So Well

Overcoming Imposter Syndrome: Four tips to cultivate confidence in the face of self-doubt

The Loneliness Pandemic? How to Endure Social Isolation as Covid Drags On

Worried about the Covid Variant? Follow These 3 Coping Tips for Health Anxiety

How to Cope With Uncertainty in the Second Wave of COVID-19

5 Practical Tips on Shifting Self-Criticism to Self-Kindness

Sleepless in Vancouver: 7 Tips to Help You Fall Asleep and Stay Asleep Longer

How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Reclaim Your Confidence

Social Anxiety: Understanding and Overcoming the Fear of Being Judged

How to Recognize Burnout and Reignite Your Spark

A step-by-step guide to soothing your anxiety.